Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Who is this written for? Me, I think.

Twenty four hours ago, Nate and I got in my car to drive to his parents' new house on the Cape. We got a house tour, he made himself a burger, we went to the supermarket to get something meatless for me, and then we went to the beach. We walked on the beach for a long time, which was very hot and tiring. We went back to the house and watched a little TV, he showered, and we lied down together. He fell asleep and I didn't, but I was glad to be able to cuddle. Then dinner was ready and I had a very hard time getting him to get out of bed to eat with his family, the only time I remember ever sitting down for a meal with them. He ate two pieces of chicken quickly and then went inside without saying anything (we were on the deck), where he stayed for about ten minutes. While he was gone, I felt uncomfortable about his absence, but continued to eat and talk to his mom. He came back and signaled for me to go inside with him, so I did. He lied back down (he felt sick) and we decided to go back to Easton. I asked him to be more polite to his parents, so we thanked his parents and left. I felt tense on the hour and a half-ish ride home. Sometimes it was silent and sometimes he would talk, but when he talked (about past events with his friends) it seemed loud and frustrated to me. Sometimes I talked about somewhat unrelated things. It seemed sort of like we were each talking about things that the other was much less interested in/affected by than we were. Then we got back to his house around nine and I was strangely exhausted. He had said on the ride back that he wanted to spend the night alone, although we had been planning on me staying over. I didn't mind much, but when we got to his house, he said he'd be right back and went inside (I think to look to see if he had left his keys there). While he was inside, I had to pee, so I went inside too. After going to the bathroom, I sat on his couch and waited for him to come down from where he was looking for his keys (I was nearer to the door). That's when I got really tired and didn't want to drive home. He seemed like he kind of wanted me to go home still, because he wanted to smoke, but we agreed that I would go to sleep right away, in a different room, and he could have the night to himself. I started getting ready for bed or something, and we decided to sleep in the same bed. Then he went outside to smoke as I finished getting ready for bed, but I got really nervous about him smoking and decided to avoid him by sleeping in a seperate room. So I started running around, moving my things to his bed (he was sleeping in his parents' bed) and his comforter to his parents' bed. I didn't even think that he might hear my rushed footsteps and realize my urgency to avoid him, but he did. He came into his room and said he wanted to sit with me, but we didn't have to talk if I didn't want to. I agreed and then after some silence we (mostly Nate) started talking, and it was similar to the way it was in the car (like I felt like it wasn't a very other-minded conversation) and I felt more bothered. Then he asked if I wanted to sleep with him in his parents' room, and I said okay, because I felt like I would feel nervous/upset/isolated if I slept alone and tried to ignore what was upsetting me. So we went to his parents' room and both lay down on the bed.

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